Cockney Christmas Codes Halt Holiday Havoc

Canuck Christmases Saved by &?#$ Slang Mum Can't Comprehend

TORONTO, Dec. 10, 2013 /CNW/ - Wonga Canada hopes that you walk in a winter wonderland this holiday season… but they know that receiving rowdy relatives and corralling candy cane-crazed kids can create tension even in the most tight-knit of families.

To hinder hurt feelings and prevent parental pandemonium, Wonga, Britain's innovative short-term lender, has compiled a collection of 'Cockney Christmas Code Words' to use as a verbal release valve. With Wonga's quick codebook, you can diffuse domestic differences diplomatically.

Kid-tastrophes (Register your displeasure while keeping the kids clueless):

• Miffed - irritated
  "Aunt Jane is really miffed that Uncle Dave drank all the good scotch."

• Dustbin lids - kids
  "Honey, you need to take out the dustbin lids for a few hours! I'm losing my mind."

• Collywobbles - an upset stomach, or a feeling of nervousness
  "The dog scarfed down all the cheesecake and has a nasty case of the collywobbles."

• Codswallop - nonsense
  "Any claim that Aunt Linda just spent an hour having coffee with Ryan Gosling, is pure codswallop."

• Pen and ink - stink
  "Wow, it really pens in here. I think Grampa had a bit too much kale."

• Bung (n.) - bribe
  "Daddy gave Timmy some serious bung to keep him quiet at The Nutcracker."

Familial Frustrations (Keep your 'relative rage' reserved):

• Snogging - Kissing
  "I saw Mommy snogging Santa Claus… but he looked a lot like Uncle Pete!

• Barmy - mad, crazy
  "We better wear matching black turtlenecks in the family photo or mum will go barmy."

• Rhubarb crumble - grumble
  "I know the kids are driving you nuts honey, but don't rhubarb crumble, it is the holiday season after all."

• Bull and cow - row (argument)
  "Don't talk politics or we'll have a bull and cow at dinner."

• Wazzock - idiot
  "Uncle Fred can be such a wazzock sometimes."

Originated in London, possibly by marketplace vendors who wanted to cleverly collude without tourists knowing what they were saying, Cockney rhyming slang and other pithy English terms are useful tools to keep Aunt Sally from perceiving how the family truly feels about her fruitcake.

"Wonga wishes all Canadian families a safe and happy holiday season", said Mark Ruddock, CEO of Wonga Canada.  "However, in order to help with some of the season's 'trickier' situations, we've gone back to our London roots and proudly brought our Cockney Code Words to the colonies. So if anyone gets all miffed and starts a bull and cow, just because the dustbin lids ate all the pud and got a nasty case of the collywobbles, you won't feel like a wazzock, you'll be right on top of it. Happy Holidays!"

About Wonga Canada Inc.

Wonga Canada Inc. is a ground-breaking digital finance company founded in the UK and headquartered in Toronto, Ontario. Since 2011, we have been transforming the Canadian credit market by offering small, short-term online loans for consumers.

Our mission at Wonga Canada is to solve people's occasional short-term and urgent cash flow problems with an equally short-term and responsible lending solution. We remove the complexity and inflexibility consumers face whenever they need to borrow cash in a hurry and offer greater speed, convenience and flexibility than any other financial institution or borrower. We are committed to responsible lending and use our fully automated and real-time risk technology, which processes thousands of pieces of data to make instant and objective lending decisions in seconds, 24/7. Our technology also means we can offer unrivalled speed, convenience and control to our customers

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SOURCE: Wonga Canada Inc.

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Patrick McCaully
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