MY BROTHER WAS PRETTY UPSET WHEN HE REALIZED THAT SANTA CLAUSE DIDN'T BRING
MY DAD BACK*

Kids Help Phone counsellors brace themselves for kids' heightened feelings of sadness
and loneliness during the Holiday Season

TORONTO, Nov. 4 /CNW/ - The happy holiday season can be a myth for many young Canadians. As early as mid-November, kids, teens and young adults across Canada are showing signs of tension, worrying about more than just what will be under the Christmas tree. Kids Help Phone counsellors know that "the most wonderful time of the year" also brings its fair share of stress. Divorce. Depression. Loneliness. Budgets. Illness.  Unemployment. Hectic schedules. They don't sound like kids' issues, but they are. "Families want their holidays to be special and happy for everyone, especially the children," says Louise Longo, one of the 100 Kids Help Phone counsellors that will be available day or night to talk to young Canadians this Holiday season.

"Kids learn early on that the holidays are supposed to be picture-perfect family gatherings filled with wonderful  gifts. They don't know how to cope with their own sadness, loneliness or anxieties when the pressure to have a good time is quite high."

Kids who reach out to Kids Help Phone during the holiday season will share concerns and questions that overwhelmingly fit three categories;

Family Issues: kids are heading into the holidays with their parents' divorce looming over the season, or are adjusting to their first year in a blended family, or the reality of spending their holiday in a new foster home.

Peer Issues: some of them are worried about being left out at school if they don't have the latest hi-tech gadget, others are finding it hard to reconcile what they see and hear about the holidays with their family's own religious or cultural traditions.

Managing Emotions: the holidays are a particularly stressful time for the anxious kid, who has to deal with the parties and the disrupted routine. New Year's Eve may also be a time for sad reflections, and for some it can trigger an overwhelming sense of low self-esteem because of the pressure to be invited to parties, or to celebrate with a special someone.

Whatever the source, the stress is very real. Adults need to learn to read the signs; a young person who becomes withdrawn, moody, or depressed could be showing symptoms of holiday stress.

Kids Help Phone, Canada's leading mental health youth counselling service, believes kids have the ability to find answers and solutions in creating their own healthy outcome.  Counsellor Louise Longo recommends that caregivers take the time to talk with their kids about how they're feeling, and be supportive of their kids' suggestions on how to alleviate their stress.

"No one is immune to intense feelings. It's important that kids know someone's there to listen," Longo says.

Here are some suggestions to ensure the holiday season lives up to its reputation:

• Take the opportunity of a talk (or family discussion) to refocus the holidays. Steer kids from material goods and ask for their ideas; it could be a family outing to go skating, or tobogganing. It could be to attend a multi-cultural event or service in celebration of the season, or even to help out, as a family, at a food bank or soup kitchen.
• Consider starting a new family tradition. It could be the Hooray for the Holidays Movie Night, complete with hot chocolate and cookies; a Family Board Game Night, or something as simple as a Pizza Night, where everyone sits down to help wrap gifts.
• Don't underestimate how a blended family can impact your kids; you may be looking at crazy schedules, more obligations, change of traditions, and lots of time traveling between gatherings and get-togethers. Involve the kids and lay out the schedule in advance to ensure they feel acknowledged.
• Pay attention to your own stress, and talk to friends for support as you add holiday preparations to your already hectic life.
• Don't overschedule your kids, or plan extra chores or play dates for them around the holidays. Remember they're on holidays and need some down time, too.

About Kids Help Phone

Kids Help Phone is Canada's only phone and on-line counselling service for youth. It's free, anonymous and confidential.  Professional counsellors are available any time of the day or night, 365 days a year, to help young people deal with concerns large or small.  As a national community-based charity, Kids Help Phone relies on individual and corporate donations to fund these vital services.

About Louise Longo

Louise Longo has worked with young people in a variety of settings, from handicapped kids in Victoria, BC,

to families and kids in shelters in the Toronto area. She has spent the last 14 years as a full-time counsellor with Kids Help Phone; Louise has worked both the nights and day shifts, responding to young people's questions and concerns by phone and online.

*   post from Kids Help Phone Ask Us Online counselling service, edited to protect the anonymity of the client

www.kidshelpphone.ca

well my story just begins around september and life just got harder since... my parents started to talk about divorce and christmas is when my dad leaves he only wants to celebrate christmas with us and then he leaves like that gonna make anythig any better... well im just feeling lonely... and well chistmas was just sopouse to be the best holiday and it wasn't sopouse to make me feel this way so wat should i do... wat could i do....

It's gotten to be that time of year, December. I moved to Canada about two and a half years ago. It's been a little hard for me because the city I came to is small, both in population and mindedness. Ever since I moved here, I've been getting very depressed in the winter. Back where I come from, schools aren't allowed to lean too much towards one religious holiday or other. Here, I keep getting teased, made fun of and ostracized because of my religion and (only sometimes) my nationality. My religion is very important to me, so I feel hurt and made less in an environment where you're a freak if you don't do Christmas, and where the teachers and students talk of nothing else as soon as Halloween is over. The holiday season is becoming a nightmare. I miss the happy Decembers.

My parents got in a big fight because of me.  My dad found out that my mom bought me a DS and he got angry because he is laid off and he threw our Christmas Tree outside :(  My mom went to her room and my dad left.  I hate Christmas and I hate that I asked for a DS. I hate Christmas.  My dad and mom fight all the time but why christmas eve?

My family christmas party just ended and i feel very sad. My father past away 4 weeks ago. It is really hard to deal with. I wish that somehow he could come back.. My mom has started drinking again and isn't there for my brother. I am left to take care of everything. She blames me for my fathers death. To be honest i blame myself too. You see my father died in a car accident. He was hit by a drunk driver who ran a red light. He was on his way to see me in my school concert. Christmas was my dad's favourite holiday..  i just want someone to hold me in ther arms and let me cry on ther shoulder. i wish he could give me a hug rigth now.

My mom said that if i'm good this weekend i can eat on christmas day as my christmas present. And no..i dont believe in Santa… because ive never gotten anything for christmas... and i'm not saying christmas is about the gifts because i know its not...its about being with your family and those you love.. but I dont have a family that loves me...or someone else that loves me to spend it with me. I wish i could be with my sister in heaven with god....or have someone to spend christmas with. I feel so alone and sad. thanks for listening to me rant.

I am 16 and in foster care. I really do like where I am, and am happier than ever before... But... I miss having my family, not just a family.  Especially around christmas time, when it is all about family and getting together and aunts and uncles and cousins. Everyone is happy, and tries to make me feel included... but, they aren't the people I grew up with. Last year was my first Christmas in care and it was so hard having to lose all the traditions I used to have.. it hurt. Like waking up, and not being sure what to do... and it just made me really sad. I know it sounds selfish and unimportant...  Last christmas, I have never felt so alone.

All holiday kids' comments were posted to kidshelpphone.ca

For further information:

For interviews with a Kids Help Phone Counsellor or for more information, please contact:

Beth Merrick   
[phone]   
[email protected] 

Pascale Guillotte
[phone]
[email protected]